September 22, 2009 :: Mastery

Recently I'm taking stock of the things that own me and pass my time, and I'm wondering if I need to shorten my list. I'm what? A writer and an amateur photographer, a branding firm employee and a freelancer? A band manager and a website administrator, an eco-enthusiast, a gardener, a blogger and a cook and a decorator, a thrifter, a reader, a pet nut, a handyperson, a vintage car owner, a landscaper and the caretaker of an ancient house. (Also add to that wife, daughter, sister, friend and colleague, but those titles need to stick with me.) Where do my allegiances lie? Everywhere and nowhere, it seems. How many hats until my head tips just enough and they all cascade to the floor? Some of them are already slipping, and it makes me feel awful. No photographs this week. Or last week. No progress on the band website. No, I haven't finished the blinds in the house or the book I started reading.

But just now, I realize that I did do a bunch of things. I worked my butt off at the full-time job. I cooked three straight, giant, party-style meals and hosted all manner of folks at my house, then made lunch for 7 on another day. I cultivated a couple freelance gigs, saw four live bands, cleaned the house a bunch of times and budgeted my finances within a cent of its piddly existance.

But that's all. How come that's not good enough? And what do I do now to shuffle the deck back around to the things I miss?

1 comment:

bunnypancake said...

I've wondered this sort of thing myself, and thought, how does Kendra find time to garden?

Lately, I've gotten people to take things off my plate, and realized the most important role is taking care of myself. Even as a stay-at-home, I get WAY too busy. I didn't think that was possible, but it most definitely is. You really do have to pay yourself first or you won't have any left to give away. Domestic work is the hardest and least appreciated, so don't forget to give yourself credit where credit is due.